13.1 Baby!

I did it!
Last weekend was the Prairie Fire Half Marathon. Boy did I not realize 13.1 miles would kick my butt like it did. I liken it to child birth. Sounds like a great idea. You spend all of this time preparing and getting ready. In the midst of it you swear it was a bad decision(the pain part, not the precious babe part), right after you say you will NEVER do that again(the pain part again, not the baby part), then as a little time goes by you forget all of the absolute misery part and think to yourself......I think I just may try that again.
I am now at the point to where I am so proud that I finished (ahead of my goal time) and think I may have it in me to do another.
Sunday was perfect weather. Couldnt ask for better running conditions. I met with a girlfriend who was running the whole marathon and we rode downtown together. It was our intentions to get there with very little time to spare in order not to stir up extra nerves. Well we parked about 3/4 of a mile away from the start of the race and ran down to the start. Right after we got down to the main start area of the race I realized I forgot my bib. OH CRAP. They just announced it was 3 minutes until start time! With tears streaming down my face I ran as fast as I could all the way back to my car and while running back to the start line I heard the gun go off for the race to start. CRAP CRAP! I ran as fast as I could and everyone was well past the start line. I started behind everyone and was completely winded from sprinting to my car and back. What the heck!! How am I now going to run 13 miles! Im already exhausted. Not to mention I had lost everyone I was going to run with and am now going to have to face this long run alone.
I quickly changed my attitude and now my goal was to get done with this race as fast as possible. My super sweet hubby made this big sign that said "Run Momma Run" and told me he would meet me first at douglas and hydraulic. This was about 2 miles into the run. What a refreshing sight to see him, the kiddies and my in laws cheering me on! Kinsey tried to run out into the street and run with me. Super cute but she screamed when daddy came and told her she couldnt run with mommy.
I saw them again about mile 9 then again at 10.5 and then again at 12.5. It was so awesome to see them 4 times!! He must have hustled fast to get to see me that many times. I also saw another friend and her husband about mile 6. The support that people give to runners is amazing. I even saw a beer station where you could grab a small drink of beer at mile 10! I was tempted but didnt want to puke everywhere!
I crossed the finish line and all I could think of was "Im so glad thats done!"
No runners high
No real thoughts except Im ready to leave and go home
I felt pretty crappy the rest of the day
The next day I felt an awesome sense of accomplishment and very empowered. The next day I felt great!!! That feeling is what makes me think I may want to do it again! Not too soon though!

Checking In

So its been 38 days since I quit my job and I have discovered a few things through this short time.
1. Absolutely no regrets. These 37 days with my littles have opened my eyes to exactly how much time I was missing with them.
Before quitting I was a ball of nerves. Was I making the right choice? What if I wanted to pull my hair out being smothered by 2 little ones all day every day? What if I actually sucked at being a mom day in and day out? These 37 days have been awesome. Sure there have been a few not so great days strung in there but I can see my relationship with both kids changing with all of the extra time we get to spend together. These very short and few years will go by so quickly. I feel so thankful that I have had this opportunity to live their little lives with them. To clean up yogurt from the floor for the millionth time, to change a hundred diahrea filled diapers, to put 17 bandaids on the same boo boo within 2 days......So a big thank you needs to go to my hubs. Without him this would not be possible.
2. I need to work just a little.
The 12 hours a week that are spent away from my kids and working for the college and with the future paramedics of this world are much more meaningful to me. I can cherish this time with adults, in the working world, discussing things and doing a job that I really do love. Being at home full time has made me appreciate my career so much more.
3. EMS is in my heart.
I love love that job to the end. It truely is the job for me. I strangely miss putting on my uniform and dealing with the unknown that I was called to each day. I really do miss it. Right now is not the season for me to be working full time with EMS but I pray that I may be able to return to it part time soon and maybe even full time once my kids are grown.

In the end I have learned I need to trust God more. Trust His plan for my life. Faith that He knows my needs and the needs of my family.

What a change this last month has been for me and the kids but a change that I get more excited about each day!!

Have a great weekend!

8 months

Little man turned 8 months old on Saturday. Que the monthly tear fest. I sure do find myself babying the heck out of Logan. Not too sure why. He isnt going to be our last child. I think I just really know, deep down, that this isnt going to last forever. So I find Josh whining to me that I hold Logan way to much and that I am causing him to feel like he needs to be held and when I am not home he is having a hard time consoling him. To which I reply, "Whatever!"
I just really dont care. If I want to love on this little guy all the time I will. If I want to carry him around all day I will. If  I want to let him nap while laying on me I will.  I just find myself less structured with our second born. Less anxious. More able to spend time truly loving him at this very moment.
Anyways.......Here is his handsome 8 month picture

What a cutie right???

Here is what Logan is up to this month:
  Size 9 month clothes
  Size 3 diapers
  Babbling like crazy but still sticks to dadadada
  No teeth yet (wah wah)
  Can get up on all fours but thats about it
  Not real interested in learning to crawl
  Loves his jumper in short intervals
  Big sister is the best source of entertainment for him
  Loves the bath and sits up in the big kid tub
  Sleeps from 8pm to 7am with one night time feeding
  Naps a little better during the day, usually a good afternoon nap
  Nursing at bed time, middle of the night and early morning
  Formula for all day time feedings
  Im still not too consistent about solids yet, does really well with cheerios
  Mommas boy all the way
  Pretty laid back temperment, when hes fussy its for a reason

We just love the heck out of him and cant wait to watch you grow baby boy!!!

PS had to add this extra picture.....you cant take a picture without big sis in it!

Rainy day fun

Yesterday, after a night of storms that kept the kids awake, we woke to a dreary day. One of those days you just want to stay in bed all day.
Both kids had different ideas.
Both woke up early (early for my kids:)) and were itching to go!
Yesterday was a day I totally wished Kinsey had rain boots. I told myself it would be dumb to buy them, that she would never get enough use out of them. Well yesterday was one day she would have worn them.
I got both kids dressed and bundled up and we went out to stomp in the rain puddles. (Well actually Logan only got to watch from the stroller......lame, but your time will come little man).
Much to my dismay the puddles were actually pretty lame so I guess we have a pretty good drainage system?! Anyway, we stomped in the ones we could find and just enjoyed running out some morning energy.

 

Then the day got WAY better when she got to go for a school bus ride!!! Since she has started to notice school buses she has been begging me to ride one. Sorry little lady but in my day I learned bad things on the school bus and as long as Im able to this momma is driving you to school!!

Breanne babysits the kids all the time and we just love her and her mom to death.

Super sweet people.

Well Breannes mom Michelle drives buses for the Maize school system. She is so stinking sweet and was able to schedule it to where she could bring the bus by our house and pick up Kinsey, then go pick up the Kindergarteners at the school and bring Kinsey home!

What an awesome thing for a 2 year old!!

We talked all week about riding the bus. She was pumped.

Then the bus pulled up to the driveway.

Cue the screaming and tears.

Suddenly shes not so excited to ride the bus.

After a short little talk and some encouragement from her friend she was ready to get on.

 

After getting buckled in they were off for the much anticipated school bus ride.

When Michelle dropped her off it was so cute to see the big kids wave goodbye from the bus.

I was so happy that she was so happy.

We met Josh at his work and she ran up to him screaming "Daddy I ride the school bus!!!"

This dreary day turned out to be a super fun one!!!

 

1st day of school.

On Monday Kinsey had her first day of school. Our church has a great program called Kids Day Inn. Sort of like a pre preschool. She goes one day a week from 9:15 to 1:15 and I can have some alone time with Logan.
Kinsey won the lottery this year and all of her friends are in her class. (Poor Miss Wilbur:))
I found myself a little sad. It is amazing how grown up she is and it is so true that time really does go so fast. I am so proud of the little girl she has become and I love watching her experience these new things.
Daddy stayed home for the morning and we woke her up early and made a special breakfast.
After a tummy full of pancakes we headed off to school.

Daddy drew this fun little picture! (Pretty good right??...)

 

We met our friends in the parking lot and after sharing lots of screams of excitement we were headed in to class.

 

Daddy walked her into class and I followed close behind with my camera in hand

 After a rather uneventful goodbye Josh went back to work and Logan and I headed to the gym and then did some shopping. (Yikes! Just saw the terribel shadow in the pic above......ignore that)
When I picked her up so was so happy and told everyone she rode the school bus to school. Wrong, but good thought! Then told me all about a boy she met.......guess this is where is starts....Geesh!!!

 

7 months.

We are officially closer to 1 than newborn. Super sad but I must say I am loving this phase. Logan is so interactive and, for the most part, content sitting on the floor playing with toys in front of him.  There is a small part of me that dreads the 6th of each month as I know it makes him another month older. Time really does go so fast. Makes me stop and think if I am making these moments special or am I simply making it from one day to the next in the midst of the chaos? This is something I hope to work on more now that I am home a lot more.......spending intentional time with my kids, not just checking things off of my to do list. Ok......this got a little deep.
On to what my handsome man has been up to over the past month:
   Size 9 month clothes
   Size 3 diapers
   Sitting up like a champ and rolling all over the place
   Tries to get up on all fours but mostly just sticks his bottom in the air
   Babbles all of the time with dadadada being his favorite
   Tried some of those dissolvable little rice cakes the other day and he loves them
   Still eating food that I make him, really into squash lately
   Eats every 3-4 hours
   Has had a little formula mixed with breastmilk in a bottle and tolerates it well
   Breastfed all but once a day. I have started replacing one nursing with a bottle
   Going to slowly start the weening process
   Sleeps pretty good at night, goes to bed at 8 wakes once to eat between 4 and 6 and back to bed til 730 or 8
   Naps poorly still during the day
   Is able to cat nap in his carseat during the morning so I can still get sis out for some fun
   Still a mommas boy and loves to be held all the time

 

Logan your smile is contagious and your giggle melts my heart. You love your sister so much and are always looking around for her. I cant wait to see your relationship with her develop as you both grow. I love you little man and cant imagine life without you. Kisses!!!

Bitter Sweet Day

Thursday was my last day as a full time employee at Sedgwick County EMS. For months I have been both looking forward to and dreading this day. I have taken time and prayed for so long on this decision and God has done everything but smack me in the face to tell me that my place right now is home with the kids. This makes my stomach hurt. Change is something that is so hard for me.
The hubs and I decided on a "last day" a few months ago and I have been counting the days since. I absolutely love my job and the thought of never being able to work there again was extremely painful. I had talked to my employer and they said due to people leaving recently and requesting to stay as part time employees and then never working, they have started a 60 day wait period. If I call them back 60 days after my last day as a full time employee and still have the desire to work part time then they would allow me to start back as part time. I want to work about 1 day a week, around the kids schedules and also to get me some adult alone time, but still be home the majority of the time. So I will now count down the days until Nov 6th when I can start part time.

One of the things that makes leaving this job the hardest is the fact that I have the most amazing partner! I seriously love this guy as if he was a member of my family. He is the most giving person I have met and is such a strong leader. He is a great husband and father and I hope that my marriage is as awesome as his is after 25 years. I love going to work and knowing what to expect. I know his temperment, I can almost predict how he will respond in any situation. This is extremely helpful in a job that is filled with the constant unexpectedes.

 

Tim: You have made this job and complete joy and I am so glad that I got to spend so many years with you as my partner. I know that we will remain very close and who know.....we may end up back together sometime!!!

 

Now I can share the complete excitement that I have to spend more time with my babies. Since having Logan I have realized how fast time really goes. Before I know it they will be in school and my influence in their lives will be decreased drastically. I look forward to loving, nurturing and simply doing life with them. I look forward to watching them grow and sharing those special moments with them that I would have otherwise missed.

 

And who knows......I may end up back at the job I so love someday in the future!!!